DAMN, I’m pissed at the moment.
Right we had a soccer match today against like our rival school and wow, they were pretty good. N got put in goals instead of me, which I must say I’m pretty happy about because I would have been a horror against those girls. This meant though that T and I had to spend like two hours or maybe more just standing around in the freezing cold on wet grass in unsuitable shoes. My toes are currently a rather alluring blue colour and throbbing painfully as the circulation begins to kick up after a whole day of wearing wet shoes. We lost too but we put up a bloody good fight and I'm horse from shouting encouragementing things.
How many hours did I get last night? Hmmm about two or three.
How much caffeine did I have today? Lost count.
Still the two soccer coaches getting angry and angst, well ;), worth the cold.
I’m rather annoyed with my gaydar at the moment! I never ever get people wrong from looking at them but now I’m just annoyed. There’s this woman who gets the bus I do and here it is, she’s got short hair, wears no make up, has shorter nails than me which codes for non existent and just a butch style in general, I made assumptions and yet somehow she has a boyfriend as far as I can make out. Jeez, she better be bi just to get my record straight.
I dyed my hair purple except it came out rather dark almost black so I’m getting the whole AH YA EMO shit right about now which just isn’t on. I ain’t no emo, though I got to admit and this is where you take notes to bribe me with embarrassment, I think Goths are pretty hot.
But you got to be full on Goth, I’m talking cobwebs, black hair, white skin the whole shebang yo. I’m thinking Pauley Perrette from NCIS; she plays Abby and well yes, please.
Anyway the ramble stops here, I got to go get a bath or something, I’m really a bit too numb for it to be normal.
Also here’s more embarrassment for you, my stomach is MAD! Anytime I lye down it sounds like there’s something living in there, which I hope there isn’t, that could just be awkward but it’s started now that it makes noise, generally! Why? Grrrr sometimes I think my body is just going to self-destruct with its oddities.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I Took Out The Trash Today and I’m On Fire.
Wow, today was amazingly odd!
If I hadn’t have started it in such an elated mood, it could have been one of those days that easily make me angry!
BUT I was in a good mood because due to a lovely empty, airy mind I got seven hours sleep last night!
That’s the most I’ve got in months! It was grand!
Anyway weird things that happened today, here are a few:
When I arrived at my classroom this morning for English I sat down in my seat and looked around. Horror, it wasn’t my class that was sitting in those seats. I panicked and quickly checked my timetable but I was right and I was supposed to be in English, so I asked a girl where the hell my class was and she muttered something incomprehensible so I panicked and left. Quickly, I imagined if I were an English class where would I be? So I arrived at the media room ten minutes late, flustered and with a story to share in whispered breath.
For PE we were playing basketball and serious, it was the roughest match I’d ever been in! Classic, it was like B Ball meets Rugby! Girls were getting tackled – mostly by me in my slippy shoes – hair was being pulled and most shockingly I got about three or four baskets! Which I called goals but hey, I thought I was deadly!
Then break comes about so I’m heading down to the sixth year classrooms and these two girls are grabbing each other in the corridor, which I guess was supposed to be in a sexy way. Alrighty, I thought that’s odd, walk on Vicki, just walk on. But then the two of them step in my way and are like; do you want some of this? Messing but then one disappears into a classroom and guess what the other one does? She fucking grabs me and pins me up against a wall slamming my head in the process and then she’s goes into what I can only describe as a “bedside ramble” and I’m just like let me go you tit. She does and I leg it to the class! EWW, this girl does things with toes. I’m going to head for a shower in a second.
But then the mood hit a slump and I half fell asleep in biology and got confused when asked what the nucleus does and yeah, it was a bit dozy I know.
So I guess I’m not an ASBO anymore! SMILE KID.
If I hadn’t have started it in such an elated mood, it could have been one of those days that easily make me angry!
BUT I was in a good mood because due to a lovely empty, airy mind I got seven hours sleep last night!
That’s the most I’ve got in months! It was grand!
Anyway weird things that happened today, here are a few:
When I arrived at my classroom this morning for English I sat down in my seat and looked around. Horror, it wasn’t my class that was sitting in those seats. I panicked and quickly checked my timetable but I was right and I was supposed to be in English, so I asked a girl where the hell my class was and she muttered something incomprehensible so I panicked and left. Quickly, I imagined if I were an English class where would I be? So I arrived at the media room ten minutes late, flustered and with a story to share in whispered breath.
For PE we were playing basketball and serious, it was the roughest match I’d ever been in! Classic, it was like B Ball meets Rugby! Girls were getting tackled – mostly by me in my slippy shoes – hair was being pulled and most shockingly I got about three or four baskets! Which I called goals but hey, I thought I was deadly!
Then break comes about so I’m heading down to the sixth year classrooms and these two girls are grabbing each other in the corridor, which I guess was supposed to be in a sexy way. Alrighty, I thought that’s odd, walk on Vicki, just walk on. But then the two of them step in my way and are like; do you want some of this? Messing but then one disappears into a classroom and guess what the other one does? She fucking grabs me and pins me up against a wall slamming my head in the process and then she’s goes into what I can only describe as a “bedside ramble” and I’m just like let me go you tit. She does and I leg it to the class! EWW, this girl does things with toes. I’m going to head for a shower in a second.
But then the mood hit a slump and I half fell asleep in biology and got confused when asked what the nucleus does and yeah, it was a bit dozy I know.
So I guess I’m not an ASBO anymore! SMILE KID.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Halloween Bean
Wow, all right last night was well…forgettable!
In a good way!
You see I have a terrible memory; it takes a lot for me to jog up any recollection an event in general but pair that with the fact I was drinking and well, you have a forgettable night!
It took a long time to convince the mother to even let me out last night, not that I am in trouble or anything but she just doesn’t trust me in the slightest.
She says she trusts me but doesn’t trust the people around me.
Of course I’m sixteen and I don’t even have a set of house keys so what has that got to do with the people around me?
Anyway basically I could have got into some serious trouble last night, honest it was mad, every one was stoned and a lot of them were looking for fights.
I found this drink and I think I’ll make it my regular, it was lovely and at 6% for one forty nine per can, pretty decent! Druids cider. Yum.
So where did we decide to go drinking on the night of the living dead under a full moon?
The graveyard!
Well, I was as jumpy as hell it spooked me out so much being there but it was lovely, the graveyard was bathed under silver light and the headstones stuck out like little hills on the horizon.
It was real nice.
Then after finishing our drink we all needed to use the bathroom so we went off to the gig and that’s when things got dodgy!
We’d already made a stop at the gig and that’s when the first real dodgy moment happened. I went over say hello to friends and I was there chatting to them and then next thing I just see this flash of light by my side and I’m like oooh what’s that? I look and it’s this big firework about to go off and what did I do? Freeze! Thankfully, a friend pulled me out of the way and I took shelter behind this big lad watching the scene and that thing blew up rather dramatically!
The second most dodgy moment was when me and N were in the parking lot, we kind of had to sneak out of the gig because they weren’t letting people out for some reason, they were saying it was dangerous or something but we shrugged and left anyway. So we’re in the car park and then somewhere behind me I hear glass being smashed up and banging and I just ignore it and next thing two of the volunteers come flying out of the gig and demand we get back inside, they’re there shouting at us, actually screaming like! So we went back inside where a crowd is gazing out into the car park and go inside. Well, later that night we discover that a bunch of lads were in the car park halfway through the night, smashing the place up. Sure, weren’t we right there in the thick of it without even knowing!!!
Ah there were some funny moments too! There’s this one girl I don’t like and in fact the feeling is mutual, I can’t remember the origin for the hatred but it’s a deep feud that rises now and again, generally under the influence.
Anyway I decided I was going to hit her across the head, just as I felt like it really. So I slapped her head and walked away. A few minutes later she came over to me and innocently asked, “ Did you slap the back of my head?” Well, I don’t know why the hell I said what I did but I replied, “ No, but I’ll do it again!”
Hey, when did you stop dressing up properly for Halloween and start dressing like a slut? I missed that memo but I can say it here and now, I’d sooner be a zombie every year to a French maid. Not that the effort wasn’t appreciated!
I have a large gash below my pelvis that looks alarming, I don’t want to know how it got there but it’s hasn’t bled or anything so maybe it’s a burn or something.
Anyway, Halloween was good but now the rest of the year seems bleak and uneventful. That was my favourite one so far. Guess I’ll just start planning for next year. Actually, I’ll look forward to…my birthday when I think; I’m getting a car! Sure it’s only in march! I’ll do my theory at Christmas and then I can drive around the streets late at night in a battered up fiat blaring out the Le Tigre!
Oh why can I see that happening for real?
Hope everyone had a good Halloween!
In a good way!
You see I have a terrible memory; it takes a lot for me to jog up any recollection an event in general but pair that with the fact I was drinking and well, you have a forgettable night!
It took a long time to convince the mother to even let me out last night, not that I am in trouble or anything but she just doesn’t trust me in the slightest.
She says she trusts me but doesn’t trust the people around me.
Of course I’m sixteen and I don’t even have a set of house keys so what has that got to do with the people around me?
Anyway basically I could have got into some serious trouble last night, honest it was mad, every one was stoned and a lot of them were looking for fights.
I found this drink and I think I’ll make it my regular, it was lovely and at 6% for one forty nine per can, pretty decent! Druids cider. Yum.
So where did we decide to go drinking on the night of the living dead under a full moon?
The graveyard!
Well, I was as jumpy as hell it spooked me out so much being there but it was lovely, the graveyard was bathed under silver light and the headstones stuck out like little hills on the horizon.
It was real nice.
Then after finishing our drink we all needed to use the bathroom so we went off to the gig and that’s when things got dodgy!
We’d already made a stop at the gig and that’s when the first real dodgy moment happened. I went over say hello to friends and I was there chatting to them and then next thing I just see this flash of light by my side and I’m like oooh what’s that? I look and it’s this big firework about to go off and what did I do? Freeze! Thankfully, a friend pulled me out of the way and I took shelter behind this big lad watching the scene and that thing blew up rather dramatically!
The second most dodgy moment was when me and N were in the parking lot, we kind of had to sneak out of the gig because they weren’t letting people out for some reason, they were saying it was dangerous or something but we shrugged and left anyway. So we’re in the car park and then somewhere behind me I hear glass being smashed up and banging and I just ignore it and next thing two of the volunteers come flying out of the gig and demand we get back inside, they’re there shouting at us, actually screaming like! So we went back inside where a crowd is gazing out into the car park and go inside. Well, later that night we discover that a bunch of lads were in the car park halfway through the night, smashing the place up. Sure, weren’t we right there in the thick of it without even knowing!!!
Ah there were some funny moments too! There’s this one girl I don’t like and in fact the feeling is mutual, I can’t remember the origin for the hatred but it’s a deep feud that rises now and again, generally under the influence.
Anyway I decided I was going to hit her across the head, just as I felt like it really. So I slapped her head and walked away. A few minutes later she came over to me and innocently asked, “ Did you slap the back of my head?” Well, I don’t know why the hell I said what I did but I replied, “ No, but I’ll do it again!”
Hey, when did you stop dressing up properly for Halloween and start dressing like a slut? I missed that memo but I can say it here and now, I’d sooner be a zombie every year to a French maid. Not that the effort wasn’t appreciated!
I have a large gash below my pelvis that looks alarming, I don’t want to know how it got there but it’s hasn’t bled or anything so maybe it’s a burn or something.
Anyway, Halloween was good but now the rest of the year seems bleak and uneventful. That was my favourite one so far. Guess I’ll just start planning for next year. Actually, I’ll look forward to…my birthday when I think; I’m getting a car! Sure it’s only in march! I’ll do my theory at Christmas and then I can drive around the streets late at night in a battered up fiat blaring out the Le Tigre!
Oh why can I see that happening for real?
Hope everyone had a good Halloween!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Word Problems
I’m struggling to motivate myself at the moment, I may have hit ‘em late but I think I’ve finally reached those classic teenage years.
I got out of bed at eleven today. Maybe that seems pretty early to some people but I generally get up at seven all the time, all the time even Saturdays!
I got my school report home today and I passed everything except for French. I won’t even tell you what I got in French because it’s actually pathetic but lets just say I think I’ll be dropping down to ordinary now!
I’m being really obsessed with conversations at the moment, not in the good way like being able to chat to everyone type but more of a lethargic view to talking.
I don’t know if you’ve ever hit a slump where you feel like what’s the point of talking to people? I’ve hit it, I mean I sit back when people are talking and just think why are they telling me this? Actually what is the point of it? And then anything I manage to say I’m thinking, do they need to know that? Do they care?
I guess it’s me over analysing things again but it seems my lips are tighter than usual.
When I think about it though, I tend to hit these kinds of slumps every now and again. Generally every few months
Sorry to break up what was becoming a rather serious post but I just want to tell you the kind of thing that happens when I’m trying to write. My father just let the dog into the sitting room I’m in whilst writing the above and I’m getting this long train of thought and then the dog starts to heave. I rush her into the bathroom and I’m holding back my dogs hair as she gets sick. I know that’s a beautiful image for you but honestly, isn’t that just classic? Great.
Anyway generally every few months I start to reassess things and become a bit lazy about people. It’s weird but I’m going to force myself to quickly get back to my usual babbling self before I become even quieter!
As if!I guess I’ll go bath the dog now, oh I love the peace and normality of my home!
I got out of bed at eleven today. Maybe that seems pretty early to some people but I generally get up at seven all the time, all the time even Saturdays!
I got my school report home today and I passed everything except for French. I won’t even tell you what I got in French because it’s actually pathetic but lets just say I think I’ll be dropping down to ordinary now!
I’m being really obsessed with conversations at the moment, not in the good way like being able to chat to everyone type but more of a lethargic view to talking.
I don’t know if you’ve ever hit a slump where you feel like what’s the point of talking to people? I’ve hit it, I mean I sit back when people are talking and just think why are they telling me this? Actually what is the point of it? And then anything I manage to say I’m thinking, do they need to know that? Do they care?
I guess it’s me over analysing things again but it seems my lips are tighter than usual.
When I think about it though, I tend to hit these kinds of slumps every now and again. Generally every few months
Sorry to break up what was becoming a rather serious post but I just want to tell you the kind of thing that happens when I’m trying to write. My father just let the dog into the sitting room I’m in whilst writing the above and I’m getting this long train of thought and then the dog starts to heave. I rush her into the bathroom and I’m holding back my dogs hair as she gets sick. I know that’s a beautiful image for you but honestly, isn’t that just classic? Great.
Anyway generally every few months I start to reassess things and become a bit lazy about people. It’s weird but I’m going to force myself to quickly get back to my usual babbling self before I become even quieter!
As if!I guess I’ll go bath the dog now, oh I love the peace and normality of my home!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Little Monsters With Sticky Hands.
Today I discovered that I’m not destined to be a mother.
One of my parent’s major worries is my disinterest in children and a general hate for them.
Which it shouldn’t be they have enough bloody grand children without guilt tripping me up!
Anyway yeah the sister was staying over with her four kids. I had to mind them and god, they just did my tits in.
General things the kids did.
- Wanted to go to the shop…five times.
- Fall over a lot and cry
- Decide that they’re too good for toilets and just to soil themselves
- Babble insanely
- Draw people into “gagagoogoo” which sent me gaga
I just think it’s impossible for me to feel maternal everything that kids do sends me into blind rage! Like one of them who was cute - cute? I’ll take your word on that – starts drooling all over the place! Literally, flooding the kitchen and everyone’s like awww look at that. Awww? Ewww more like.
And the talk, honest if I had kids I’d make it swallow a dictionary, thesaurus optional.
I’ve always said that if I was in a stable relationship with someone and they wanted kids, we would but honest, I’m not a mother. It’d kill me.
One of my parent’s major worries is my disinterest in children and a general hate for them.
Which it shouldn’t be they have enough bloody grand children without guilt tripping me up!
Anyway yeah the sister was staying over with her four kids. I had to mind them and god, they just did my tits in.
General things the kids did.
- Wanted to go to the shop…five times.
- Fall over a lot and cry
- Decide that they’re too good for toilets and just to soil themselves
- Babble insanely
- Draw people into “gagagoogoo” which sent me gaga
I just think it’s impossible for me to feel maternal everything that kids do sends me into blind rage! Like one of them who was cute - cute? I’ll take your word on that – starts drooling all over the place! Literally, flooding the kitchen and everyone’s like awww look at that. Awww? Ewww more like.
And the talk, honest if I had kids I’d make it swallow a dictionary, thesaurus optional.
I’ve always said that if I was in a stable relationship with someone and they wanted kids, we would but honest, I’m not a mother. It’d kill me.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Well You Wanted Something Beautiful
Oh what a weekend, I’m bloody wreaked from it all!
Saturday night was actually good craic, I wasn’t expecting it to be but I enjoyed it despite my pessimism.
The plan was that we were going to a gig, nothing unusual there really I mean like these gigs aren’t special anymore, people just stand outside smoking and that’s it really.
Anyway we headed off for that quite early but no one was at it at that time so we began to walk to someone’s house. N suggested that we walk through the graveyard and it looked pretty cool and all I was pretending to be a tough cookie so I agreeded. We walked to the top of the graveyard and then realised we didn’t know where to go then. Next thing we start hearing voices, drunk men and then these lasors and well I’ve never ran so bloody fast in all my life.
Yes, I’m courageous me.
Anyway then we got to house and the rest were all drunk and there’s us sober as anything going to a gig we didn’t really want to go to. I was pretty pissed about the whole night until I was handed a bottle of coke and vodka – well mostly vodka really and then I was ready for the night.
What was achieved in this night?
Well, one of my friends had been dumped that night and the dick that dumped her was dancing with this other girl. Well me and N decided that if I saw him four times that night, I was going to beat him up. Sure enough I saw him four times and we followed him outside. I asked this girls permission for some reason and then I walked up to him…and I kicked him in the balls! Then I just walked away and another girl head butted him. Gosh, was I proud of that. He went home then so he wouldn’t be dancing with any other girls that night!
That’s the only thing that really stands out to me to be honest and then I stayed in town that night. Wish I had more time with N though.
Today, it seemed my whole family was congregated in my house. Drunk. With ALL their children. Crying. I’m going to go sleep now.
Actually I'm going to watch Childs Play 2, love a bit of Chucky on a sunday!
Saturday night was actually good craic, I wasn’t expecting it to be but I enjoyed it despite my pessimism.
The plan was that we were going to a gig, nothing unusual there really I mean like these gigs aren’t special anymore, people just stand outside smoking and that’s it really.
Anyway we headed off for that quite early but no one was at it at that time so we began to walk to someone’s house. N suggested that we walk through the graveyard and it looked pretty cool and all I was pretending to be a tough cookie so I agreeded. We walked to the top of the graveyard and then realised we didn’t know where to go then. Next thing we start hearing voices, drunk men and then these lasors and well I’ve never ran so bloody fast in all my life.
Yes, I’m courageous me.
Anyway then we got to house and the rest were all drunk and there’s us sober as anything going to a gig we didn’t really want to go to. I was pretty pissed about the whole night until I was handed a bottle of coke and vodka – well mostly vodka really and then I was ready for the night.
What was achieved in this night?
Well, one of my friends had been dumped that night and the dick that dumped her was dancing with this other girl. Well me and N decided that if I saw him four times that night, I was going to beat him up. Sure enough I saw him four times and we followed him outside. I asked this girls permission for some reason and then I walked up to him…and I kicked him in the balls! Then I just walked away and another girl head butted him. Gosh, was I proud of that. He went home then so he wouldn’t be dancing with any other girls that night!
That’s the only thing that really stands out to me to be honest and then I stayed in town that night. Wish I had more time with N though.
Today, it seemed my whole family was congregated in my house. Drunk. With ALL their children. Crying. I’m going to go sleep now.
Actually I'm going to watch Childs Play 2, love a bit of Chucky on a sunday!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Your My Daydream, Does It Make You Homesick For Me?
This is what I have been reduced to ever since my laptop has betrayed me; I am blogging in computers class. Don’t worry though, we do nothing anyway.
I had a major blast up with my mother last night; it was kind of funny mind because it was such a pathetic cause.
I was sitting down at the old concrete computer looking up ideas for a class sculpture for art and she plonks herself down next to me.
Bear in mind I haven’t slept for more than four consecutive hours a night since Monday.
Anyway she’s sitting there watching my every move and asking me what am doing, I tell her I’m looking things up and then she’s like I can see that.
Really? Because then why would you ask mother?!
Anyway I ignore that and be nice cause I’m a good daughter but she keeps shooting down every good idea I have then because they’re too dark or too crude!
It just pisses me off that she thinks that she knows everything there is to know about art and I’m sorry but to put it frank she never sells that many paintings and she’s never studied art.
I asked her who Frida Kahlo was and she didn’t know.I could've coped with that if she wasn't so far up her own arse when it comes to art. Shit, I'm surprised she knows who Monet is.
So anyway I’m still awaiting my power chord so I can get back to writing but until then I am a useless student with no responsibilities again.
And to add to my bad temperment I haven’t seen N since Monday since I was sick and then she was sick and anyway I don’t know if she’s in school today but if she’s not I’m going round to her bloody house. I’ll bring pea soup since she’s a veggie and I don’t know a hot water bottle or something? I can barely look after myself I won’t attempt to care for another. In fact I’d probably chop my hand off or something trying to heat up the soup! Think that doesn’t make sense? Watch me in a kitchen. Anyway I miss her so I'm all annoyed at the world and itching for a fight.
I’ve noticed something about being a senior, if you have the look you can do what you want and teachers will pretty much leave you be. I mean these days I walk around with ear phones in most the time, something which is considered against rules for some reason but anyway I haven’t been confronted yet not even by the principal! It’s great; perhaps I look like a hard case.
BAD NEWS : I have to dig into my tattoo savings to pay for a charger for my laptop, I shall be unlinked for a lot longer at this rate.
I had a major blast up with my mother last night; it was kind of funny mind because it was such a pathetic cause.
I was sitting down at the old concrete computer looking up ideas for a class sculpture for art and she plonks herself down next to me.
Bear in mind I haven’t slept for more than four consecutive hours a night since Monday.
Anyway she’s sitting there watching my every move and asking me what am doing, I tell her I’m looking things up and then she’s like I can see that.
Really? Because then why would you ask mother?!
Anyway I ignore that and be nice cause I’m a good daughter but she keeps shooting down every good idea I have then because they’re too dark or too crude!
It just pisses me off that she thinks that she knows everything there is to know about art and I’m sorry but to put it frank she never sells that many paintings and she’s never studied art.
I asked her who Frida Kahlo was and she didn’t know.I could've coped with that if she wasn't so far up her own arse when it comes to art. Shit, I'm surprised she knows who Monet is.
So anyway I’m still awaiting my power chord so I can get back to writing but until then I am a useless student with no responsibilities again.
And to add to my bad temperment I haven’t seen N since Monday since I was sick and then she was sick and anyway I don’t know if she’s in school today but if she’s not I’m going round to her bloody house. I’ll bring pea soup since she’s a veggie and I don’t know a hot water bottle or something? I can barely look after myself I won’t attempt to care for another. In fact I’d probably chop my hand off or something trying to heat up the soup! Think that doesn’t make sense? Watch me in a kitchen. Anyway I miss her so I'm all annoyed at the world and itching for a fight.
I’ve noticed something about being a senior, if you have the look you can do what you want and teachers will pretty much leave you be. I mean these days I walk around with ear phones in most the time, something which is considered against rules for some reason but anyway I haven’t been confronted yet not even by the principal! It’s great; perhaps I look like a hard case.
BAD NEWS : I have to dig into my tattoo savings to pay for a charger for my laptop, I shall be unlinked for a lot longer at this rate.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Dragon Queen.
I’m annoyed right now. My mother wouldn’t let me into school today I woke up with the oddest headache. It actually felt like someone was crushing my skull! Aghh, popped a few Panadol’s and the world seems brighter. Still I have this pain in my stomach with a persistent nausea.
ANYWAY that’s not why I’m annoyed. I am so because I can’t muster any inspiration for an English essay I have to do. It’s “ Say good things, bad things. Say anything.” It has to be five pages and I’ve wrote two essays already but I’m not happy with either.
So as in times of blockage I turned to my MP3 player to light the fire and well, it seems all songs are fundamentally love songs. I don’t want to write a love story that’s boring and therefore my MP3 player is boring and I hate it.
I had to stay after school yesterday to help out with the opening night in the art room. This meant thousands of little children scampering about the place asking questions and generally saying things! Hell! Though I guess there wasn’t thousands but it felt like it. I had to draw portraits of them along with about nineteen other girls but I didn’t think we had to socialize with the blighters! The girl next to me was chatting to her girls about teachers and ghosts and subjects and things. She used the same conversation with most of the kids but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them.
I guess it’s my selfish ways coming through but I didn’t want to spend time talking to someone I’d never see again especially when I didn’t want to talk to them!
The way I see it is that if I’m going to talk to someone I’m talking to him or her for a reason. Besides I can’t talk when I’m drawing so I just said hello to the kids, smiled and then gave them their portraits when I was done.
When I talk to someone I wish to gain something. Insight, friendship, laughter…whatever but these kids weren’t pushing any of that. I feel a bit mean though that I didn’t make an effort with too many of them. Well, any of them really but I’m quite shy anyway and I didn’t want to ask them any corny questions.
I’ll probably never see any of them again anyway, I may have scared them off the school. They might think that we’re all a bunch of anti social buggers.
OH actually Placebo always inspire me, that may work!
ANYWAY that’s not why I’m annoyed. I am so because I can’t muster any inspiration for an English essay I have to do. It’s “ Say good things, bad things. Say anything.” It has to be five pages and I’ve wrote two essays already but I’m not happy with either.
So as in times of blockage I turned to my MP3 player to light the fire and well, it seems all songs are fundamentally love songs. I don’t want to write a love story that’s boring and therefore my MP3 player is boring and I hate it.
I had to stay after school yesterday to help out with the opening night in the art room. This meant thousands of little children scampering about the place asking questions and generally saying things! Hell! Though I guess there wasn’t thousands but it felt like it. I had to draw portraits of them along with about nineteen other girls but I didn’t think we had to socialize with the blighters! The girl next to me was chatting to her girls about teachers and ghosts and subjects and things. She used the same conversation with most of the kids but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to them.
I guess it’s my selfish ways coming through but I didn’t want to spend time talking to someone I’d never see again especially when I didn’t want to talk to them!
The way I see it is that if I’m going to talk to someone I’m talking to him or her for a reason. Besides I can’t talk when I’m drawing so I just said hello to the kids, smiled and then gave them their portraits when I was done.
When I talk to someone I wish to gain something. Insight, friendship, laughter…whatever but these kids weren’t pushing any of that. I feel a bit mean though that I didn’t make an effort with too many of them. Well, any of them really but I’m quite shy anyway and I didn’t want to ask them any corny questions.
I’ll probably never see any of them again anyway, I may have scared them off the school. They might think that we’re all a bunch of anti social buggers.
OH actually Placebo always inspire me, that may work!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
